Logan and Jake Paul: Please Stop Brainwashing Our Children

WUDDUP LOGANGPAULERS.

Jake and Logan Paul are two of the most famous YouTube celebrities of this generation. Many of you may know them from their Vine days, some of you may know Jake form the local news as the young savage who jumped on top of a news van DURING an interview with KTLA 5; my friends, I am here to introduce you to an entirely new side of the Paul brothers, a side many of you may not be familiar with, that is by far the most fascinating and disgraceful side of our good buddies, Jake and Logan. So please, come with me on a journey, as we examine Jake and Logan Paul: Brainwashing our Children.

Let's begin with Jake.

"BUY DAT MERCH" x7

This holiday season, Jake Paul gave a gift to all of his Jake Paulers: a full length Christmas album where he remixed famous Christmas songs and made them terrible. He sold this album on iTunes and Spotify (which is an important piece of information to remember for later), so his fans could listen to the album on repeat. It is also important to remember Jake makes an estimates $11 million annually. Jake Paul's fan base, also known as the "Jake Paulers", is predominantly made up of very young children, ranging in ages from 6-15. Jake was a Disney Channel star before starting his YouTube channel, so it's easy to understand why his demographic is so young. From Vine, to Disney, to Youtube, Jake has accumulated 13,463,389 subscribers, with a combined total of 3,581,905,694 channel views. But, because YouTube does not pay their content creators as much money as they used to, a very large amount of the money he makes is in merch sales. So, not only is he making songs, commercials, selling his merchandise, he is also selling THE SONG ITSELF AND MAKING MONEY OFF THAT. Is that not wrong?! This boy is taking over the world, creating an army of brainwashed young children, and he knows exactly what he is doing. The above video is one of the songs from Jake's Christmas album titled "All I Want for Christmas." The song is essentially a commercial for his 13+ million minions to listen to on repeat. The chorus of the song is, simply, "buy dat merch" seven times. It's not even a real song. There is no message, there is no meaning. He's basically begging his adoring, screaming, 8 year old, pre-pubescent, fans to give him money, on repeat, directly into their ears. That sounds strangely uncomfortable to me, correct me if I'm wrong. These children don't even make their own money. You know their parents are buying them this merchandise. Tell me they work for it, do chores, whatever. It's still mom and dad's money at the end of the day. It's not right what these brothers are doing to these young, impressionable children. They do the most ridiculous, expensive, dangerous, pathetic, activities in these 20 minute long vlogs, and children admire them because they preach false hope, fake love, and that with enough money, the fans can have what the Pauls have (but you have to buy their merchandise first don't forget it). It's borderline cultish, and it needs to be addressed publicly. I have so much more to say about Jake that I think is despicable, but for now let's move on to "Daddy Paul."

"Oh hi Mr. Claus, it's me, Logan Paul!"

Much like his brother, Logan also released a Christmas jingle, titled "Santa Diss Track". This banger isn't nearly as bad as Jake's, but it's just one example of the same kind of brainwashing Jake performs on his loyal subjects. Basically, Santa will not deliver Logan Paul's merchandise line "Maverick Clothing" to children for Christmas. This upsets Logan, and he feels the need to write a diss track about good old Saint Nick (if you know anything about YouTube trends, you'll know diss tracks are a thing right now it's ridiculous). The song starts out with some real hard punches at Santa. He mentions having sex with Mrs. Claus on multiple occasions, fat shames him, and pretty much owns Santa (obviously) because he will not deliver Logan's merch. When it comes to the commercial part of the song, Logan kindly alerts his fans he is now going to plug his merch by saying "Logan Paul you use your song to plug your merch?" in a sarcastic voice, suggesting he KNOWS he's going to get made fun of for pushing his merch onto his adoring fans. He knows it's wrong, but he's going to do it anyway... He then suggests children should "take [their] gifts and give them back [if it's not Maverick merchandise]." It's insulting to parents. The gifts they were going to give their children are not good enough, and he's going to tell your kids that, and then they're going to ask you to send them back and replace it with Maverick merch. Is that what he wants? What is the goal with this line? He then goes on to mention in his fire ass diss track that he is single. Keep in mind, Logans fans are the same age as Jake's fans (too young). Here he is, promoting to all these young children that he is single and ready to mingle. Nothing wrong here! I will link another one of Logan's commercial songs down below that he made with a real life fan, it's disturbing and soul crushing. You can make your own opinions about this gem.

In conclusion, the Paul Brothers need to be stopped. That is all.